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A- First off, I want to say that if you truly feel your situation is desperate, then please, reach out and get some one on one help. Whether with a clinical psychologist, or a spiritual teacher, it is of the upmost importance that you talk more about this other than through a blog site. I am available if you would like to work with me, but again, find someone and open up.
Now, to your question. Usually when things get desperate, it is because we have been going down the wrong path for a while. We have been shown our lesson, and our path, but have decided to continue going down the path that we want to go down. It then becomes like walking against the current of a river. The key to turning this around, (and also turning yourself around), is by creating a different thought process. And the main thought process, is stop asking yourself "why", and start asking yourself "what" and "how". Instead of asking why this is happening to you, and creating the victim mentality, start asking yourself what you can do to move out of this situation, or how can you make things better. Remember, even if something bad happens to you, you are only a victim for the instant that happens. Every action of yours after that is something you have control over. But if you chose to stay in the victim role, you will not be able to move forward. Also, instead of focusing on what you don't have, start taking a hard look at what you do have. Again, this is just reprogramming your mind to stop focusing on the negative, and turning your thoughts to the positive. Even if there is only the smallest bit of something positive around you, focus solely on that then, instead of the negative. You'll find that you can see many positive things in your life if you choose to look in that direction.
If anything else, remember this: You are alive. You are here, and you are a beautiful, intricate part of the divine order. And today is a day where anything can happen. Fear is just us focusing on what could happen, instead of what we want to happen, so start focusing on what you want to happen, as long as it's from your highest self. In other words, don't want something bad to happen to someone else, because those thoughts will only come back on us tenfold. Your highest self does not think in terms of greed, revenge, or materialistic things. Our highest self only concerns itself with peace, love, joy, and equanimity. If you want to see love in your world, then bring love into your world. Everything can change, but it has to start with you. If you want a different outcome, you must do something different yourself.
This is obviously a difficult time in your life, but remember that it is only temporary. Things can get better starting today, but look for the change you seek inside yourself first. If you change what is inside, you will begin to see the change on the outside as well. And again, please, find some help. Talk to someone that can help you work through this stage you are in. Writing a question to me is a good first step, but having someone to work with on a regular basis can increase the speed of healing. If I can do anything, please contact me and I will do whatever I can to help. Love and light to you, you wonderful spiritual being!!
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