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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Acceptance. The beginning, not the end....

I recently wrote a very small blurb on acceptance and what it means, and today I was reading an article on  Marc Buoniconti, and it moved me to write more about this important idea.  For those of you who don't know, Marc Buoniconti is the son of former NFL great Nick Buoniconti.  In 1985, Marc was playing football for The Citadel, when he went to make a tackle on the tailback.  His helmet collided with the tailbacks lower back, and in an instant, Marc was a quadriplegic.  When told he would never use his limbs again, he was told he needed to accept his situation, to which Marc replied "I've always hated that word.  It's defeatist in a way.  I think as soon as you accept something like that, you've lost."  Although Marc has overcome great odds at survival, and has gone on to accomplish great things, his views of acceptance are askew. 
Acceptance is not the end of things, it is the beginning of things.  Acceptance does not say that "This is how things are going to be forever".  It is simply "this is how things are now."  Because now is all we ever have.  There is an old saying "It is what it is", which is very true.  Many people choose not to accept their current situation, and go on dreaming of all the "what ifs" in their lives.  This will only lead to pain and suffering, because it does not exist.  All that exists is "what is".  You must first, with all your being, accept your situation for what it is at the time that it is.  Because it is your situation.  Once acceptance has happened, then you can use the questions of "wha"t and "how" to change your situation to be what you would like it to be.  "I am paralyzed.  What can I do to overcome this?  How can I live my life to the fullest?"  To deny you are paralyzed, would be "non acceptance".  It's not saying you cannot try to change your situation; all it is saying is that you have to say "Right now, I am paralyzed".  That could all change in a moment.  There is a great deal of peace that comes with the acceptance of "what is".  It is the starting point.  It is the beginning of a path to take you out of what is right now, and make it something else.  Denial will never get you started on the path to something else.  It will only keep you locked into a victim mentality.  It cannot lead to action.  You will never walk on the road to recovery if you deny the event for its truth. 
Acceptance is the first step, it is definitely not the last.



Anonymous said...

"Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye"

Great perhaps you have discovered that you are eternal welcome to 95% of humanity who belive in a higher power. Yes Buddha, a great teacher of ONE. But just that a "teacher".

Ego has about as much depth as persona. How about a little research into shadows archtypes? So that we may cleans ourselves abit from bipolar, bpd's, and americas favorit add. acknowledging the ego is doing nothing more than saying "ok, im going to work on not being so narcissistic" which is no great feat.

if you were projecting love my friend you would have it. and you wouldnt be removing specks. i get the inkling love evades you, otherwise your ego would not be here searching for affirmation on your greatness. simply know that you are great! cleanse your own soul prior to baptizing others.

If you find the way to taste the afterlife and return to the orbis terrarum, perhaps we could sit together and laugh and chat instead of you having to kill me.

The Garden said...

Thank you for your comment, anonymous... Two things come to mind. First, people's words against others are a window into what's in their own hearts. You talk about getting rid of ego being no great feat, yet your post is littered with it.

Second, and most important, as Buddha said: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

There is great beauty in differences of opinion. If used correctly, it can lead to amazing pathways of new information. But, if in the end, you believe it does not make sense to you, then feel free to disregard it, and walk the path that flows from inside yourself.

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